Here comes G9

In 2012 a company is looking to launch a new golf tournament called "G9." A round will be over 9 holes, consisting solely of par 3s. Players will be part of teams, their "owners" keeping a beady eye at tee-box and green. Never mind the fairways, it just slows things down. G9 officials say that it will attract people to the game who have never really been interested.

The match-ups will see the players race across to the green in golf carts, just to cut down on the boredom. (You can also bet on who gets there first, if you like). All of this with the djs and dancers keeping the crowd entertained at greenside. Commentators will be allowed onto the green, to get us inside the mind of the golfer and the putt they have to endure. Tournament organisers will be insistent though that all greens have no undulations or break, so that it makes the game quicker and easier for the competitors. Dammit, to add to the drama, it will be played at night. A hole-in-one will become commonplace and caddies will become obsolete. Hang on, there's my phone.....

It's Jon Daly...he says he's keen.
"Can't stand this 18-hole stuff and bothering to make the cut. No walking? Awesome. See if you can get me an alcohol and tobacco sponsors."
We'll see what we can do.

"Ok, lets talk money."
Oh, no money here boss. You guys earn good cash already. We can't match that.
Hello....hello...Jon?

G9 would fail because a guy named Tiger Woods has taken the old man's elitist game to common folk and beyond. He's one of the richest sportsmen of all time and inspired a new generation of golf fans with his gregarious personality, hard work and awesome talent. All of this whilst playing the traditional 18-hole game, in 4 day tournaments, in the toughest conditions against the world's best. No gimmicks.

Just because Tiger and others have made enough money and didn't want to take part in G9 would they be branded "purists?"

If international cricketers were paid better, would they chase after the IPL cornucopia? The only truthful answer would probably come from Chris Gayle.