Modi's Fairytale and the 7 Deadly Sins

Have a look on Cricinfo today http://tinyurl.com/ort5fk - 2 IPLs a year. God, from me not liking the tournament at all and now having to endure a gluttonous six-week period in my own country. Never have I been less inclined to watch cricket.

The semi-naked, flashing light, loud music brand of cricket has just shown how truly rank the South African fan is. All they want is to swill beer, get a front row seat and see if they can get a look under a dancer's skirt. A front row seat also grants you the chance to hurl abuse at your favourite international player. In all of the kerfuffle with your mates, if you have seen any of the cricket, it's simply unforgivable.

It's not promoting the game at all. One day internationals and test matches will still pull similar crowds. The beautiful blonde causcasian most-non-Indian-looking girl doesn't want to go to a test match, as there is no chance of being spotted by "Miss Bollywood" scouts. The traditional format will still see chaps sit in the stands explaining it to their really interested girlfriends, whilst actually watching.

If fans around the world are to determine that T20 is the future, then great. But simply know that Modi's minions are exploting the men around the world for their drunken, leary nature and the females in the pursuit of being the next big thing.

The IPL is so attractive to the crowds because the psychology fits in perfectly with their ADHD nature. Modern crowds simply have this need to constantly to move around, be distracted by various random activities and not concentrate on the reason you are in the stadium. A little known fact is that Ritalin is banned within a 10km radius of the stadiums. (As well as that this tournament is not under ICC Match fixing scrutiny; Modi deemed it too expensive at 7 million pounds - never mind that the IPL is worth approximately 8 billions dollars).

There's a TV station in South Africa that called 2009 "Year of the Fan." The IPL, the tournament of the Barbaric Fan. Everyone is guilty. Every corporate ticket purchased, every bum on seat, every hyped-up match report.

The 7 Cardinal Sins have all been committed, repeatedly for nigh on 6 weeks and in 59 games. There is no turning back from this abyss. That's why the Barbarian loves it.

1. Lust - for money; a strategic time-out that screws up the game's momentum? What are you thinking...oh sorry, it's not about the cricket.

2. Gluttony - The amount of games

3. Greed - Chris Gayle

4. Sloth - see #3

5. Wrath - What bookies will exact when a player doesn't perform according to their "agreement."

6. Envy - Gulam Bodi - (born in India) the best T20 batsman in South Africa who can't get drafted by an IPL team in his own, adopted country. "These bloody franchises must not like buying foreign Indians - damn xenophobes."

7. Pride - Every Indian resident showing such great national pride for their homeland. Chak De India.

Since barbarians learn by osmosis, we will have produced a generation of "I want all the glory for as little effort as possible" cricketers. Can't wait.