Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Here comes G9

In 2012 a company is looking to launch a new golf tournament called "G9." A round will be over 9 holes, consisting solely of par 3s. Players will be part of teams, their "owners" keeping a beady eye at tee-box and green. Never mind the fairways, it just slows things down. G9 officials say that it will attract people to the game who have never really been interested.

The match-ups will see the players race across to the green in golf carts, just to cut down on the boredom. (You can also bet on who gets there first, if you like). All of this with the djs and dancers keeping the crowd entertained at greenside. Commentators will be allowed onto the green, to get us inside the mind of the golfer and the putt they have to endure. Tournament organisers will be insistent though that all greens have no undulations or break, so that it makes the game quicker and easier for the competitors. Dammit, to add to the drama, it will be played at night. A hole-in-one will become commonplace and caddies will become obsolete. Hang on, there's my phone.....

It's Jon Daly...he says he's keen.
"Can't stand this 18-hole stuff and bothering to make the cut. No walking? Awesome. See if you can get me an alcohol and tobacco sponsors."
We'll see what we can do.

"Ok, lets talk money."
Oh, no money here boss. You guys earn good cash already. We can't match that.
Hello....hello...Jon?

G9 would fail because a guy named Tiger Woods has taken the old man's elitist game to common folk and beyond. He's one of the richest sportsmen of all time and inspired a new generation of golf fans with his gregarious personality, hard work and awesome talent. All of this whilst playing the traditional 18-hole game, in 4 day tournaments, in the toughest conditions against the world's best. No gimmicks.

Just because Tiger and others have made enough money and didn't want to take part in G9 would they be branded "purists?"

If international cricketers were paid better, would they chase after the IPL cornucopia? The only truthful answer would probably come from Chris Gayle.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Modi's Fairytale and the 7 Deadly Sins

Have a look on Cricinfo today http://tinyurl.com/ort5fk - 2 IPLs a year. God, from me not liking the tournament at all and now having to endure a gluttonous six-week period in my own country. Never have I been less inclined to watch cricket.

The semi-naked, flashing light, loud music brand of cricket has just shown how truly rank the South African fan is. All they want is to swill beer, get a front row seat and see if they can get a look under a dancer's skirt. A front row seat also grants you the chance to hurl abuse at your favourite international player. In all of the kerfuffle with your mates, if you have seen any of the cricket, it's simply unforgivable.

It's not promoting the game at all. One day internationals and test matches will still pull similar crowds. The beautiful blonde causcasian most-non-Indian-looking girl doesn't want to go to a test match, as there is no chance of being spotted by "Miss Bollywood" scouts. The traditional format will still see chaps sit in the stands explaining it to their really interested girlfriends, whilst actually watching.

If fans around the world are to determine that T20 is the future, then great. But simply know that Modi's minions are exploting the men around the world for their drunken, leary nature and the females in the pursuit of being the next big thing.

The IPL is so attractive to the crowds because the psychology fits in perfectly with their ADHD nature. Modern crowds simply have this need to constantly to move around, be distracted by various random activities and not concentrate on the reason you are in the stadium. A little known fact is that Ritalin is banned within a 10km radius of the stadiums. (As well as that this tournament is not under ICC Match fixing scrutiny; Modi deemed it too expensive at 7 million pounds - never mind that the IPL is worth approximately 8 billions dollars).

There's a TV station in South Africa that called 2009 "Year of the Fan." The IPL, the tournament of the Barbaric Fan. Everyone is guilty. Every corporate ticket purchased, every bum on seat, every hyped-up match report.

The 7 Cardinal Sins have all been committed, repeatedly for nigh on 6 weeks and in 59 games. There is no turning back from this abyss. That's why the Barbarian loves it.

1. Lust - for money; a strategic time-out that screws up the game's momentum? What are you thinking...oh sorry, it's not about the cricket.

2. Gluttony - The amount of games

3. Greed - Chris Gayle

4. Sloth - see #3

5. Wrath - What bookies will exact when a player doesn't perform according to their "agreement."

6. Envy - Gulam Bodi - (born in India) the best T20 batsman in South Africa who can't get drafted by an IPL team in his own, adopted country. "These bloody franchises must not like buying foreign Indians - damn xenophobes."

7. Pride - Every Indian resident showing such great national pride for their homeland. Chak De India.

Since barbarians learn by osmosis, we will have produced a generation of "I want all the glory for as little effort as possible" cricketers. Can't wait.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

IPL Fixion

I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I don't care who you are, who you are playing - you don't lose 6 wickets for 12 runs. Especially when you are on the verge of winning a game. Deccan needed 25 from 18 to against Dehli and imploded to 161 all out. Adam Gilchirst is the most straight-laced cricketer you can imagine, but I don't about his teammates.

If you haven't been paying attention, sit down and here's a lesson from the textbook of "How Cricketers Arouse Suspicion."

174 required to win.

149 for 4 with Andrew Symonds at the crease; he then shows no composure and gets out 2 balls later. Another international cricketer, Dwayne Smith, then gets a two duck after two balls faced. Venugopal Rao, who has played 16 ODIs and has an average of 24, a proper batsman -falls for a single in three balls. Chaminda Vaas sticks in for 10 off 6 balls.

More international cricketers come - and go. RP Singh (international bowler) run out after facing just one ball; Pragyan Ojha - who was smoking hot bat and ball just 10 days ago - falls for a two ball duck. Is form that fleeting or is he just not that good? Shoaib is the last man to go - holing out to AB De Villiers at long-on.

Most of these wickets falling to some mystery bowler - R Bathia - whom nobody bar his missus and closest 100 mates have heard of. Chrisis! He must having been bowling hand grenades. Bathia's not played an international game and gets 4/15 in 2.4 overs. I hope that Bhai went out, gambled and bought a European lotto ticket and looked for a potential wife. Today he'd be a married millioinaire.

Put this as a storyline for Roy of the Rovers or Billy's Boots about 25 years ago, not even they would have bought it. Hot Shot Hamish blasting the ball through the back of the net is more believable.

May 13 was dodgy in Durban - with a smattering of the usual dropped catches comedy to remind us that the players were trying.

Someone out there made money last night.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

American Psycho

So there's more Indian money out there, about to be spent by a Mr Jay Mir, who is looking to cash in on cricket. Cash in not only on India's cricket obsession, but to take it to the ex-pats of all nationalities around the world. An unofficial T20 league in America.

Good idea, but who is going to play? Adam Hollioake and Graeme Hick are the first names to be released to the media. Thus the lack of hype. Just imagine the press conference after those names are dropped....cue deadly silence broken only by crickets and a silly ringtone playing from a stray mobile that hasn’t been turned off.

It was also announced on Monday that John Emburey is going to coach a World XI. Part of his contract probably states that if someone has too many whiskies the night before, he might have to bowl a few more rollers. Truthfully though, I can't imagine who is going to play in this, or how competitive it will be. Here's the way I see it all happening, with a few likely suspects...

Mr Mir and his minions will try as best as possible to replicate the IPL, simply to honour it. American Psycho T20 will also have a "technical time out" - which will allow the physio to strap together the about-to-fall-off limbs of Graham Dilley and Craig McDermott. I'd watch just to see if Dilley still looks like that kid from "Blue Lagoon."

Every five overs a full drinks trolley will enter, sponsored by Johnny Walker. "Keep on Walking" will be emblazoned on the side. Many of the players will come to hate this statement, as muscle stiffness won't allow them to walk after tonight's game.

On contractual request of the players, the drinks trolley is exactly that. The 12th man must be a professional barman with the ability to mix cocktails and play the piano. The entrepreneurial Mr Mir will not let this opportunity to pass. Bars at the grounds will be obliged to sell "Hick Highballs", "Hollioake Wallbangers" and the ever popular "Emburey Ernest Hemingways".

The 12th man's other duties will include keeping players out until ungodly hours after the games and then be the designated driver. He will also have to schedule golf tee-off times and apologise for non-appearance at American Psycho matches.

Once the cricket does get underway though, it should be fun. Every time someone hits a six, sorry, a Mr Jay Mir Maximum, all the players have to down their drinks (inclulding the commentators - who will be paid in drinks). If you drink out of the wrong hand, you'll have to down another one.

The theme for the league should be is 80s retro. To add to the authenticity, players will be required to wear luminous shell suits, sheepskin pads with real buckles and gloves with those prickly green bits. The organisers will also make sure that when players score 50s or 100s, a few idiots will run onto the field, shake their heroes’ hands and offer them a sip of their drink.

In further tribute to the 80s and IPL style, the first team meant to register are the "Dallas Texans". Rumour is that Allen Stanford, JR and Bobby Ewing are the money behind it all.

SRK and the KKR will be represented too. A legendary West Indian team will make an appearance with Gus Logie as captain and Tony Cozier as coach. Apparently they are favouring the name of "Detroit Diff'rent Strokes."

I can't wait.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

IPL:Finally....Spotted...excitement on Safari

In Africa, if you are planning a game drive, your timing has got be spot on. You either need to go out before sunrise or late afternoon to sunset. Up to this point, trying to spot a good game in the IPL was like going on a game drive at midday. The animals were simply lazy, camping under big trees and out of sight. Last night, finally there was some excitement on the IPL African safari.

The game between the KKR and the Rajasthan Royals finally got me to sit down for longer than 10 minutes. Admittedly, I didn't watch the whole game - but saw the real excitement I guess....the super over.

The Royals' Munaf Patel's below-par over towards the death and Gaunguly's sheer guts got KKR back into the game. No-ball 6 and then the free hit next delivery going for 6 breathed life into them. Ganguly was fuming when Yashpal Singh got out. He had spoken to him the ball before and the youngster partner politely ignored - to get out, trying to be a hero. Ganguly surely then knew the die was cast. It was.

Ganguly got out and the game proceeded to go to a super over. Effectively - Game Over for KKR.

Despite Gayle's brave 15 off the super over, oddly bowled by Karman Khan - who got 3/18 in his 4 overs. 18 years old, ungainly action, would you back him? Warne did, though, and the commentators do seem loathe to question his calls. As if his legendary status puts him beyond it. The fact that the decision to bowl him paid off is a non-factor; Khan only got 2 from 7 deliveries in the area for his set field.

His over was all over the shop. Gayle was always aiming mid-wicket, mid-on, with two men at backward point, man at cover sweeper. Left-arm over, surely you have got to bowl it a half a foot outside off . Cut down the batter's options and let him make the running.

Kahn went full first ball, off-stump; decent area. Next ball - waist high full toss and hit McCullum bang on the right hand. Should have been called a no-ball. Ball 3 - too wide outside off, he is trying. Then too straight, 4 to square leg. AROUND the wicket then! (what is he thinking?) 4 over mid-on - who is up in the ring! CHRI....SIS. Back to over the wicket, 4 to mid-wicket. Last ball, he finally gets it right, Gayle slices it to cover sweeper. 16 to win.

The mystifying "Mendis Code" was made to look like 2 piece jigsaw by Yusuf Pathan. 18 runs, no trouble.

The drama was great, and made fantastic TV. The only trouble - it took 20 minutes to bowl these 2 overs. Probably 15 of those minutes to choose the 3 batters and 1 bowler from each side. There's drama, then there is a dynasty.

I do have a life.

The IPL: Style Report

The IPL is really all about glitz and glamour; that's to blind you from the average cricket being played. Since that's the case - I'm a fan.

So then, there are two things I like about the IPL. The adverts for the teams and sponsors are really, really stunning. But we should have been expected to be. Full on Bollywood productions, dancing, singing, drama, intrigue. The Nike ad with random kids playing cricket on buses across busy roads and featuring a few famous faces is first class.

The Rajasthan Royals ad with Big Sister (Shilpa Shetty) is a winner. It choreographs her with Warne, Smith and elephants into a true bollywood scene.

They should actually avoid showing these during games, soon the public will latch on.

The second attraction is the Deccan Chargers kit. Well, really only the headgear. They are flat top caps, kind of like painter caps. The golfer Camilo Villegas, known as one of the most stylish dressers on the tour, wore one as he won the BMW Championship last year.

I don't know about the garish yellow of the Super Kings; I know that teams wearing yellow are meant to be successful (Brazil, the Lakers) - but heck, that kit is rubbish. The Royals look like racing drivers with all the sponsorship over the helmets. The other teams don't stand out too much - average into obscurity.

But the worst dressed must the black and gold of the Kolkata Knight Riders - commonly known as the KKR. (They are more K away from being REALLY bad). Maybe they should wear their pants too short, to reveal their white socks and wear a glittering glove to complete hideously Bollywood look. Mind you, Shah Rukh Khan is the owner. Enough said.

Time I'll never get back

Have a look at one of my ealier posts and you will know that I was less than excited about the IPL coming to South Africa. It has lived up to all of my suggested dissapointment with very few runs, no on-field pyrotechnics and heavily one-sided games.

I don't quite know why people want to go to the games. But walking into the Joburg office, people were mentally queuing for tickets - as the tickets for the Wanderers games go on sale today. Joburg crowds though are well-known for going to the ground to drink and not the cricket. So the IPL will be a perfect fit.

For JHB it might well be out of curiosity. Maybe its to see the dancing girls. Maybe people are banking on the fact that they might, just might see a good game (for once). Its kind of like going to planetarium and hoping to see a comet.

My attention span for the IPL is about 10 balls. Hit, miss, shout from the commentators. A predictable format. I miss out on too much TV to sit down for 3 hours (and 15 minutes) to be robbed of that time I'll never get back.

I also know that Supersport will show the highlights at some time or another.

Monday, April 20, 2009

West Indian eyes are smiling

Ex-West Indian allrounder Phil Simmons is coach of the successful Ireland team that qualified for Cricket World Cup 2011, having won the recent qualifying tournament in South Africa. We sat down with him to get the inside story on the Irish conquerers.

1) What do you think has been the recipe for success in the winning then tournament and qualifiying for World Cup 2011?

When you are at this level you cannot leave anything to chance. You have to prepare as if you are playing one of the full member sides, like a Australia or West Indies or whoever. We work hard on our skills to make sure that we are the best team we can be. We had a reputation as a good fielding side and worked particularly hard on that. Our fielding was exceptional throughout.

2) Some of your star performers such as Boyd Rankin and William Porterfield play county cricket and can be rated as professional; but what about the “amateurs” in the squad - how does this affect your standard of play?

Everybody comes into the squad and trains together for the same purpose. The players who are with counties, Niall O'Brien, Boyd Rankin and William Porterfield do bring a sense of professionalism, which does help. It does help our preparation and players do learn from each other all the time.

3) How do you rate the opposition in the World Cup qualifiers 2009?

Dissapointing overall. I would have thought that we would have been pushed more by some of the teams that qualified previously for World Cups, but our wins were comfortable each time. We only lost to fellow qualifiers Kenya and Afghanistan. Although the Afghans did not qualify, they certainly impressed.

4) Everyone seems to be talking about them. Why?

They didn't just turn up in awe of the other teams. They didn't treat us like the "big boys" of the competition. Rather, they came out and were very committed in the field and played hard. The Afghans were certainly better than us on the day, where they won by 22 runs. Their opening bowlers were good and would not be out of place in any of the teams who took part here. Their keeper and opening batsman came out and played his shots, which saw him score runs. He was quite hard to bowl to.

4) Getting back to Ireland now; in terms of resources, what does qualification for the World Cup mean?

We do get a monetary reward now from the ICC. This does allow us to remunerate some players better. Last year, we only had 2 local fully contracted players, Trent Johnston and Alex Cusack. Then there are the county players. So for the rest of the chaps, it will allow better payment, but none of them can just give up their job and live off the cricket salary. Contracts are worked around our current structure and our requirements. So a few more players will be contracted and fortunately, their employers are quite understanding, especially during the summer months and for the major tournaments.

5) Who are some of the young stars coming through in the Ireland squad?

Regan West and Peter Connell are the 2 performers that came through in this tournament. Both of them picked up 14 wickets in the competition, averaging around 23 runs per wicket.They only started in the set-up last year. But in the qualifiers they took the pressure off the other bowlers. Our bowling attack really did well. The highest score conceded was 232 against Scotland.

6) It emerged that you put on ban on drinking during the tournament. How did the team respond to it? How did you monitor their intake?

Well, we have always had a 24 hour drinking ban for before and after the games. But it had been broken by a few individuals, so we decided to impose a blanket ban on everyone. There was no overreaction to this tough - they realised that it was for their own good. Team management took this quite seriously though - as we used breathalysers on some mornings to test the boys. So it seemed to work well.

We did blow off some steam though. They were allowed a couple of cans once we had qualified for the super 8s, and then once we had qualified for the World Cup. Obviously, once we won tournament as well, the boys did celebrate. But no one overdid it.

7) What now for the Ireland team as you return home?

We go straight into the Friends Provident Trophy. We start on Sunday in Dublin in front of an expectant crowd; but it's important not to play to administrators and crowd expectations, but rather to what your team needs to achieve. It's still one day cricket, but a totally different situation going home.

First of all, we have to come down off this high. Second, the wickets are also going to be different. We are also losing our 3 county players and we also have some players who need a rest. There are a few youngsters who did play well in last year's competition, and they will have to step up in the next few games. Last year we caused one upset, although it could have been 2 or 3. We will look to get to the quarter-finals and take it from there.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Ponting savvy gets better of S Africa

Friday's ODI in Johannesburg was a tactical battle more than most realise. Defending a total at the Wanderers is tough, partly because the white ball just seems to fly a bit further because of the altitude. Partly because the ground is not all that big.

The straight boundries only at 60 metres and square of the wicket around 80-85 metres. The ground also tends to "play small." With the carpet-like outfield, once that ball gets past the inner ring, or if you are on the boundry - it just keeps on getting away from you.

To the tactics. Chasing 304, South Africa were coasting at 180 odd for two, Gibbs out. Kallis still there with De Villiers and Duminy at the crease, you would back them to win. Ponting had to gamble and with the change of ball after 34 overs. The "new" ball had to do something.

The left-arm slingers from Mitchell Johnson and the controlled seamers from Bracken did the trick. Kallis nicks off three balls after the ball change; Duminy then falls to wild swish 8 balls later. Haddin takes both catches and the Proteas 191/4. Ponting's punt pays dividends.

A South African counter-punch? Unfortunately not. Boucher falls 4 overs later and Albie Morkel tried to attack spinner Haurtiz, but fell to catch of the season by Ben Laughlin. Game over, Maria Sharapova.

The Proteas could have counter-punched by: calling the powerplay sooner. With De Villiers and Kallis at the crease, knowing that the ball change was coming in the 34th over. Perhaps that would have forced Australia to reconsider whether it was too early to gamble with Johnson, Bracken and the "new ball." At least Ponting would have have had to reconsider.

South Africa only called for their (batting) Powerplay once Albie Morkel got out. That is, start of the 43rd over 229/6 (requiring 73 off 42) with De Villiers in and rookie Roelof Van de Merwe with him. How much chance did they stand?

The current Proteas team might well be ranked #1 in the world. But counter-punching and being alert is the difference between winning 4-1 and 3-2.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Circle the wagons

Circle the wagons and protect our own. That's what good businesses, companies and teams do. Whether the accused is right or wrong. But after the bravado of the other day coming from the Proteas, in the form of interviews from the media manager and bowling coach, they still decided to drop Johan Botha.

Pull him out of the spotlight, take the focus off him, take the pressure off him - put it however you want to. But if the camp is so convinced of the fact that he doesn't have a dodgy action, then he should've played. But this is simply equivalent to stuffing your grandmother in the cupboard to stop her saying something even more embarrassing at the dinner table.

To many out there, in terms of the rules, it may seem a rather convoluted explanation as to whether someone is "throwing" or not. What it really comes down to the the angle of flexion of the elbow when delivering. Apparently Botha was measured at 11% (you are allowed 15%) at the time of last testing when delivering the doosra. He was measured at 9% for his normal delivery.

As a bowler, you know when you are keeping you arm straight and when you are really bending it to constitute a throw. Don't let any bowler tell you otherwise. Some of the best fast bowlers chucked their bouncer. And in modern times now, it's easy to get tested and bend your arm a little bit less - which helps you to get cleared.

But that doesn't stop you going back to old ways when in the heat of battle. Let's call it gamesmanship. And remember, it not illegal as long as you don't get caught.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mission: Possible

So much for the series going down to Game 5. Maybe I just wanted to see a good contest here in JHB on Friday. Good bowling performance to SA to keep AUS down after 129 run opening partnership. Well done Roelof and Johan Botha.

South Africa's faith in Herschelle Gibbs has certianly paid off, picking up a century today, his 21st in ODIs. To be fair in the week, Mickey Arthur called it, a match-winning innings that can be crucial. So series won and Mission: Possible.

Back to Herschelle though. 34, getting his life back on track and his coach really know that he is going to be produce 1 out of 5. So do you accept that you will be 10 for 1 with Gibbs gone early on four of these occassions?

Its really cricketing roulette. You don't know when you're going to strike it lucky.

Ok, so lets say that he goes to the T20 World Championship. June in England and he produces against Scotland in the first game. Or maybe Scotland won't see that unlucky roulette ball fall into their slot; it will be some poor other sods. But at least then 4 teams after that won't have to worry.

The Proteas will then go through the same selection conundrum whether to play someone more reliable. Will South Africa accept not winning another major trophy because of sentimental reasons?

Maybe the only person that can answer this is Herschelle Gibbs.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Can SA slay the Dragon at St George's?

It'll all be set up and decided in Game 5 or The Wanderers will be nothing more than a ticker-tape parade for the Proteas.

One article doing the rounds on the net suggests that history is in favour of the visitors, having won 7 out of 8 matches played there; SA go in with a 15 out of 23 record.

Hmm, that's the start of the questionable nature of this piece of "analysis". They then mention the fact that South Africa last beat the West Indies there last year. No comparison here: Australia and the West Indies are on opposite ends of the the cricket spectrum. The Proteas won that series 5-0. Caso cerrado.

To see how evenly matched these teams are in South Africa, lets go back to the last series here and the last match-up in PE. Australia won by 26 runs to keep the series alive after losing the first 2.

The visitors won by 26 runs, defending 254. Australia used Lee, Clark, Bracken and Hogg to achieve their task. The only reason why Stuart Clark and Brett Lee are not playing is due to injury (Clark arrived in SA on Sunday and looks part of future plans though; Lee is PE, but with his IPL team). Compare this with SA's bowling attack for tomorrow.

3 years ago to tomorrow - there will be no surviving bowlers. Don't fall off your extremely comfortable rocking chair when you read the names of this bowling attack, bar the first two names. Ntini, Pollock.... Telemachus, Hall, Peterson and bloody heck, Graeme Smith even sent down 4 overs! By the way, Boeta Dippenaar was part of the starting XI too. AB De Villiers got his first ODI 50 in the corresponding game.

What the comparison does show is that South Africa have progressed. They deserve their ranking as #1 team in the world now. A change in personnel, a change in thinking. But coming down from that spot has not seen Ponting's Aussies lose any of their guile or will to win.

A bowling attack that produces on the day will decide the series. On this front - South Africa have drawn an ace every time; Parnell and Van der Merwe. Australia have tried the same, but Geeves didn't get it right in Cape Town. Laughlin and Harwood don't have the quality (right now anyway; Lord knows what Hilfenhaus and Siddle could have produced if they were not being rested for the Ashes).

It is rare though that Bracken will have another bad game. The Aussies might have figured out how to play Van der Merwe.

Gut feel: See you in JHB for the decider on Friday.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Amatuer Hour makes for real cricket

Amatuers. It's a rather back-handed term. But I guess they will agree that's what they are. That is, all of the prospective teams who are looking to qualify for the 2011 Cricket World Cup.

Ireland are now favourites to go through to the final showpiece in 2011. They top the standings of the Super 8 section. The other hopefuls include Kenya, Canada, UAE, Netherlands, Scotland, Namibia and Afghanistan. All of these bar Afghanistan hae taken part in World Cups previously.

But the best part about writing about all of these teams is that they are, I love to say it, real people. Sometimes when we talk to professional cricketers, no matter how young and upcoming they are, they are really just cricketers. You've heard it said a million times, they "eat, sleep and breathe the game." Overall, it makes most international cricketers as interesting another Amy Winehouse bust-up.

When Ireland got through to the Super 8 section of the 2007 World Cup, they had to ask their bosses for some more time off work. Their wives had flown back home - and then went back to the Caribbean for a bit more sunshine, rum cocktails and a bit of cricket.

Ireland do have a few professionals in their ranks. Boyd Rankin and William Porterfield play county cricket; but most of the lads (they are really "lad's lads") are talented high-schoolers and club cricketers. Beyond cricket they would be carpet salesmen, teachers and office workers with real families, real kids and real problems.

So one can imagine that it's hard to stop these boys "charging" (to the bar and around the town)after they win and move closer to the World Cup. The Irish coach is Phil Simmons, the ex-West Indian allrounder. He's has decided to put a ban alcohol for the tournament in South Africa. Well, it looks like it's working, Simmo. The Trinidadian is a big unit and could probably beat any of his squad at either a cricket or drinking contest. They are best advised to heed his words.

Talking to him before the start of the tournament he said that their preparations were good, having played something like 42 games in the run-up to SA. As things stand going into the Super 8 part of the competition: Kevin O'Brien is yet to be dismissed in his 4 innings so far, having scored 208 runs. Big Boyd Rankin and the NZ-born Regan West have picked up 8 wickets a piece so far. Ireland look set for 2011 on the sub-continent.

If they qualify for the WC, maybe then I will take Simmo and the boys out to Latinova for a drink...or ten.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Spot the Difference: SA v Aus 1-1

It's like one of those pictures we used to do as kids. Draw the "x" over the all too obvious differences. On some days if you have to compare South Africa and Australia, it would be quite easy to spot the glaring differences. At times they don't look like they even belong on the same field.

First ODI sees Australia get one of the biggest scores batting first at Kingsmead -286 and South Africa skittled for 145. Second ODI sees Aussies bundled for 131 and South Africa canter home. So with a 3 days to think about where to draw the next "X" both teams move to Cape Town for a Maundy Thursday matchup.

With South Africa taking the bold step to give Roelof Van Der Merwe his debut and Parnell to step in with the new ball, it's paid off. Parnell is something of a throwback to Wasim, although nowhere near as tall. I think the speed readings were a little deceptive. (Sidebar - did you know that Hawkeye do the speed readings?)

He is not the skiddy, raw pace of Dale Steyn; or the awkward bounce of Morne Morkel when he gets it right. He can swing it in to the right-handers though. The value of this, never mind the pace, is never to be underestimated. I think the perfect example is Ryan Sidebottom. On his comeback he bowled old school stuff. 3 in, 1 away.

To the right-hander, which one can I leave, which one should I play?

As good as Parnell was for the Proteas, Haurtiz looked like he was bowling hand grenades in Durban. 4/29 in 8 overs, with South Africa prodding, flicking and slogging themselves into a humid Kingsmead mire.

In chasing down that 131 South Africa didn't really look convincing. They will still want to improve in that department. So the local net bowlers at Newlands and St George's can expect to spend their Easter weekend fishing the ball out of the nearest river.

Something else for the SA selectors to consider: Herschelle Gibbs - will he pop or flop? I would pick Amla and keep it simple up there.

Can't see the AUS selectors making too many changes - but Michael Clarke has got to start producing!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

SA v Aus - 1st ODI

South Africa head into the 1st ODI at Durban with a great sense of purpose - and as favourites somewhat. After winning the two T20 internationals in convincing fashion, but simply showing more nerve than the Aussies, the Proteas have got no reason to doubt themselves.

South African cricket might be getting a touch carried away with their "reward for good perfomances" policy. They first kept Roelof Van der Merwe in the squad for the ODI after his unconventional batting and expert fielding and bowling performances in the second T20. Second, they award left-arm seamer Wayne Parnell with a national contract. Sure, both of them show promise. Maybe giving them a taste of the big time will keep them hungry. Only time will tell how wise these decisions are. The older lot, Andre Nel and newly-named Wisden Cricketers of the Year for 2009 Dale Benkenstein and Neil McKenzie must be cursing. Surely there is a case for CSA being ageist.

Anyway, bakc to the task at hand. Durban.

Track: Good pace and bounce; given that the game kicks off at 2:30, it often works best to bat first and back your bowlers with a swinging ball later on. It's a small ground, so runs are easy to come by, but its a ground where you can defend easily enough (unlike the Wanderers).

Conditions: Humidity does allow for the ball to swing. Bowling first can often be a tricky prospect, it is still quite hot and sapping for the rest of the game.

Teams: South Africa bringing Smith back as captain and opener. They draw great inspiration from him, but lets not underestimate the influence and performances of Johan Botha - a man who is somewhat uncomfortable with the limelight. No Kallis, which will please some quarters. But his overall calm at the crease and underrated bowling (by South Africans, but highly rated by everyone else in the world) is invaluable.

Austrlia's batters looked quite out of touch depite David Hussey, who got runs in both T20 internationals. Ponting, Mike Hussey and Michael Clarke just looked rushed and never at home in this version of the game. Look out, once again, for Marcus North. Bags of experience and a Kallis-type temprament. His off-spinners could do a job for Ponting again with a set of bowlers that is heavily reliant on the pace of Johnson and the flight and guile of the aliceband-brandishing Bracken.

Johan Botha may well be the difference, outclassing players like James Hopes and the highly-rated (for no apparent reason) Cameron White.

Series will be close though!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

IPL: Best in the world?

OK, so the Indian Premier League is virtually here in South Africa and there is something of a buzz. The excitement created by circus coming to town saw an even bigger interest in the T20 Internationals played over the weekend.

One would think that the economic recession would bite the franchises and see them be a bit more selective with their spending. Even before a six has been launched into the stands, two signings have taken place. Fair enough, the experienced Charl Langeveldt (34) whom Derbyshire "reluctantly" let go for 3 championship games and 8 one day domestics.

Then, the flavour of the month, sorry - week, sorry - past weekend. Roelof van der Merwe gets contracted to Bangalore. He might an exciting player in the domestic game. But I don't know if it warrants contracting. He's unconventional, "hits funny areas" and is a bit of a gimmick. Just like the IPL.

So with regard to Van Der Merwe, Tyron Henderson, Ryan McLaren and all the other Indian players who don't represent their countries and make up the very large Franchise squads (20 plus players) - I don't see why I should pay money to see this.

Last week one of the prominent South African players, who played in last year's tournament, said that with so many internationals in the squads, how many will actually be playing in the games? "With squads so big, you'll have some pretty damn good players on the bench" to paraphrase him. Franchises have to play some of the "local" Indian players - it is after all the "Indian Premier League". I don't see why I should spend money to see this. I want to see the best in the world. That's why I will spend money to see international cricket.

If the IPL is to be the best in the world - then just get the best players in world. I would imagine that they already play in national teams.

Drop the Indian name, drop the unknown players and spend your money on 15 decent internationals. Change the name and call it the 20/20 Premier League. Maybe then I would pay money to see this. Otherwise, I am not playing at this wide one.